A Text on Arriving and a Shout Out to the Universe

posted on: Freitag, 17. Januar 2014

I remember how I made my way through the long dark hallway of my new residence for the very first time. My footsteps echoed in the hall as I passed what seemed like an eternal array of blue metal doors, while scanning the little silver plates for the right number. I lay awake that night, counting the bumps in the white wall above my head, restlessly listening to unknown sounds and voices in the room next to mine. 

That was only 10 days ago. And things have changed. Quickly. Rapidly. I now find the keyhole in the dark, when I stumble home at two in the morning. I grab things from the shelf in the supermarket around the corner without even looking. I sleepwalk through a city whose beauty awed me the first days I spend here. 

It is worrying and at the same time soothing how quickly one adapts to new circumstances. How old routines are replaced by new ones. But when the enthusiasm of the first days abates you also realize: No matter how far you go, you will always be there. Still the same person, just walking and laughing and worrying in front of a different scenery.

I have been a picture of Zen recently and honestly, I have no idea why. When I arrived here I was pretty clueless. All I knew was that I would move into a double room in a student residence (what if I need my alone time?) that does not even have a proper kitchen (Oh my god, I cannot eat take-out all the time!). I was supposed to take part in a language course, but something went wrong and I was enrolled in a level way above my abilites (Everyone is gonna think I am an idiot!). When I arrived on Giudecca I had lost my (carefully elaborated) self-drawn map and had no idea how to get to my destination (We will get lost and probably robbed!). More than one reason to justify an hysterical outburst.

{Strangely that outburst never happened. And even more so, none of my fears  I could have been losing sleep over came true. None. And it gives me back a little bit of trust. Thank you universe!}

We are a pretty large group of people here, although most of my fellow students will be gone by the end of this month again and start studying anywhere in Italy. I have found a lovely roommate in a spanish art student called Isabel - we are both night owls, very messy charmingly chaotic and get along really well. My Italian is still pretty much non-existent, but every successful encounter in the supermarket or on the street makes me about as happy as a bird with a french frie. I slowly but surely find my way around the city, as long as I do not need to look for something particular, because street signs or house numbers are rare in Venice. One of the first things I learned here is that if someone says "go straight" he never actually means "straight", but more a general direction which usually includes little turns and twists if you dont wanna end up in a dead end street (or worse, one of the many canals that sometimes appear out of nowhere).

I spend my days at language school (three hours from monday to friday), sightseeing or going out for a Spritz to one of the few places that are actually open after 10 pm. I love how this often overcrowded city turns into a sleepy village around this time of year.

And I have ideas. I packed my running shoes and downloaded the c25k-App yesterday - we will see how that goes. I want to write a novel that is like a 300 page long Ben Howard song, if that makes any sense. I want all at the same time, but then again, is that really a fault?

4 Kommentare:

  1. darling,
    life has been busy, and i'm currently reading blogs only on the go with the lovely bloglovin app- since i hate typing on my phone, commenting is simply not happening this way. but i after every single entry i read from you, i am SO... well it always depends, either inspired or excited for you or so crushing on you that its really a bad thing not to comment. because this way all the thoughts i do have about what you write never reach you. not to make it seem like they were all that importat - but it doesnt feel okay to get to much out of your writing and never let you know so.
    the post you wrote about blogging in general is fucking excellent, and i feel in the very same place as you.
    i have no doubt in my mind that you are capable of writing that novel with a ben howard -feel to it. how cool would it be to one day say things like: "well and while i lived in venice and learned italian, i started writing my novel" - gina, fucking ace! :)
    keep it up, girl. maybe venice is a place where things go your way, and if they dont from time to time - happiness is always a choice, nothing else.
    you fucking impress me.
    love to you.

    1. totally guilty of the not commenting thing. I ALWAYS swear to myself I will start doing it more, because if I dont leave a mark all those awesome people will never know how awesome I think they are.

      But honestly, I am lacking words. You, my love, are the bees knees and your comment made my day (A LOT of them actually ;D)

  2. really nice text. do not forget where you come form and who you are.. doesn't matter what will happen :)


you make me a very happy blogger.